I knew being a penniless student would be hard, but its a different matter when I actually am the penniless student. I'm not so poor that I have to starve, but my funds are slowly turning into a slow sluggish trickle, soon to be dripping to nothing. And I'm freaking out BIG TIME.
It's also time to start thinking about internships and post-graduate jobs. And getting a job right now, even if its standing in a mall handing samples. Anything. Unfortunately, I can't get a job until November - that's when I can apply for an off-campus work permit. And on-campus jobs have 'summer hours' which also happen to be while I'm in class.
Also, gotta tighten the belt and become anti-social - or show up for events that don't cost a thing and stick to water. It's a good thing water is free over here. It's even encouraged. Unlike Dubai where most bars and pubs charge a premium for water - its cheaper buying booze or even juice than good ol H2O.
So yes, I might be hyperventilating a bit.
SB says I should just take things one day at a time and to not think too much about stuff or I may just go insane. Which I may become anyway because it always frikkin rains here. And my bladder has the muscle-tone of a newborn. I keep needing to pee every five minutes. So I don't drink as much so that I can sit through a class.
That ranting aside, I'm now doing TV after going through the print and radio portion of the term. And TV feels like an old friend that I reunited with after three years. I've forgotten how much fun TV can be.
As for SB, things are still going awesome. I'm surprised how awesome it is. I sometimes dwell on my past and I get scared about it all ending. But it does feel different and it feels real. I don't think I've shared so much and opened up so much as I have with SB. Not even P. I still can't think or talk about P. Not even in an old, detached way. I'm certainly over him, but I want nothing to do with him. I would prefer thinking he never existed at all. Like all my other exs. Like a bad dream that I vaguely remember. Or something to keep as a warning and not repeat ever again. I do talk about my exs with SB to illustrate a point, or as part of my history for a particular thing. Plus he reads this blog and I have nothing to hide from him. I figure if he had to run because of my past, its better now than later. But he's still around and I trust him.
I love snuggling next to him. He calls me his heat thief. I tend to get cold very quickly and adapt to the temperature in the room. Whereas he's always so nice and warm. My soft, warm, snoring heater. And I keep finding spots on him that I stick my cold hands on and warm up - hence the name 'heat thief'.
He also calls me a toe-crushing harpy. Because if there's something with wheels on it, I will somehow find a way to run it over a feet, even though I don't mean too.
Me: (running over his toes with a wheelie-chair) I love you!
SB: (cringes) I love you too, you toe-crushing harpy. (kisses me)
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